Being a foster parent has been one of the most life-defining and life-altering things I’ve ever done. I imagined at the beginning of my journey I’d be a mother (albeit temporary) to countless children, and oh, how noble I would be.
Then the truth was thrust upon me: foster care is exhausting, overwhelming, heartbreaking, and requires tremendous amounts of self-sacrifice.
I went into foster parenting expecting and hoping to change countless lives, but instead my journey changed two lives, mine and the life of H, whom I adopted at the age of 27 months.
Then, before I could blink, my fostering journey has come to an end. With much thought and prayer, my heart is calm and at peace: I am closing my foster care license. I no longer feel the need to look for another child to adopt, to fill a gap, or to say “I’m a foster parent” to feel complete. I can say “I’m a parent,” and it’s more than enough.
I am humbled and amazed that God knows my heart, knows my weaknesses, yet still entrusted me with the precious son who now bears my last name.
I am grateful that God only gave me one placement before I was able to adopt. I am well aware that many foster families toil for years hoping to adopt, or watch other competing parties adopt their foster children instead, or seeing their foster kids being reunited with their biological family (which of course is the entire point and mission of foster care).
I don’t know what the future holds, maybe I’ll be a foster parent again someday, maybe I’ll adopt again domestically or internationally, or maybe our family is complete. That is the beauty of life, learning to live contentedly and in the moment without sorrow for what might have been.
I am looking forward to completing our tiny family of two by adopting a dog (and maybe even a backyard goat and chickens!) and making our lives as enriching, exciting, and fulfilling as possible.